


Alone

by linebos28



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Academy, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Other, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 05:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linebos28/pseuds/linebos28
Summary: Klaus going through feels. How Ben manages to be there for Klaus. Shows some of Klaus' descent into drugs.





	1. Alone for now

Stumbling in through the window, Klaus began to laugh in an almost hysterical way after falling on his bed clumsily. After a fun night out, his new eyeliner is smudged, and the world is still moving in ways it's not supposed to. His body is marked with names, phone numbers, little messages, and a few, rather hairy, penises. What do you expect when going to a high school party with a theme of, "Your skin is your canvas". That's what was written on the banner Klaus had seen. Them giving out markers at the door, and making a star on your arm was the only rule to entry. There was lots of alcohol there as well as other things Klaus was just beginning to learn of. Who knew there was so much stuff out there to make you feel good? Not Klaus that's for sure. He hadn't ventured out and tried them yet, but it was beginning to tempt him. The alcohol definitely helped make the ghosts temporarily disappear, but they would be back tomorrow. It also eased away the nightmares, and the panic that simply thinking of the mausoleum brought. 

Noticing the shadows of people were beginning to return, he realized that he really hadn't had that much to drink, and instantly regretted it. He was so caught up in the moment. Now though? Now he was alone. In his bare room. He missed the party. Being surrounded by people that treated him like their equal, and not a thing that usually got in the way, that was amazing. He felt lonely, yet content to simply be in the silence. It hurt being alone, yet it was weirdly addictive. 

He used to have Ben there for him, but then he went on a mission with Luther. He didn't come back. Not until two days later at least. Only noticeable to Klaus, and super confused as to why nobody was speaking back to him. Klaus had broken down in sobs. Reginald, as always the emotionless type, stuck Klaus in the mausoleum to sort himself out. When he came out, he was followed by a speechless Ben, and Reginald who was glaring. After crying himself to sleep, he felt empty. 

Walking back into the academy, he had hoped to see some looks of sympathy. Some emotion. Anything. Something to hold onto, make him feel needed, or like the others too, understood what he was going through. He found nothing. Ben was gone he reminded himself. The one who watched out for him and cared for him when no one else would. Five had left a year ago as well. He may not have been an expert with emotions, but he cared in his own strange way. Noticing things came easy to Five. He was the other person in the house who seemed to care for Klaus. He too was gone now. Yes there was also Mom, and Pogo. Diego had long ago staked his claim on Mom, and the pitying looks he recieved from Pogo made Klaus oh so umcomfortable. He couldn't stay in the same room as him for long. Those looks made him feel like a porcelean doll who was about to break. That was something Klaus definitlely didn't enjoy. Somehow in a room full of people, he felt alone. No one noticed his internal toils exept the person whose cold hand accidentally passed through him from behind. Allison was visibly confused by the cold glare she and Luther received that day. 

Carefully slipping between people, Klaus felt his stomache drop as people conversed around him. They were all from the same school. Friends, enemies, lovers, people in complicated relationships, so many different relationships. On the other hand, Klaus was a stranger to them. Nearly all of them anyway. There in the corner were some of his friends. All of them were doing alcohol, drugs of some sort, or making fun of people he didn't know. When he walked up to them, one of them asked who he was. Once again he felt his stomache drop painfully inside him, and his cheeks heated up as the group laughed. That night he got completely wasted. Every time he felt himself sober up slightly, he could hear that voice inside his head repeating, "alone, no one understands, hopeless," and it wouldn't stop until he chugged a bit more. Reginald found him outside the door that day sometime after lunch. Reeking of alcohol, asleep, and with the most obnoxious outfit he'd ever seen. His solution? The mausoleum. That was the first time he felt alone at a party. From then on, parties never felt completely like home as they once had.

For the next four years, Klaus became more and more submerged in the one thing that made him not feel as much, and also found other methods. Eventually he moved out as well. Not fully of course, he still has some stuff there, but he simply stopped showing up for a while. Then the next time longer. Eventually he simply stopped returning. Everything he needed could be obtained one way or another on the streets. He hadn't realized how dependent he'd become until that night. Somehow he'd gotten stuck in one of those walk in fridges. He had a thick coat with him, and he was surrounded by food, so it wasn't too bad. Klaus had no idea what time it was because there wasn't a clock anywhere, but he soon realized he was sobering up. The shadows of people already beginning to surround him. Unfortunately he didn't have his emergency packet on him. He'd finished that yesterday. Then the first one to appear, was someone he hadn't seen in a long time. Ben. He should have expected it, yet it still suprised him. Ben was gone...

Klaus didn't know why he did it, but he did. Eventually he gave in to the need for something other than silence. "Long time no see Benny boy!" he spoke with a smile.

Ben simply glared at him before murmuring, "You know you could have seen me earlier if you had wanted."

Looking down in guilt, Klaus decided it would be a more positive experience if he simply shut his mouth. Although he was surrounded by food... and he was hungry.... Ben glared at him as he did so. Ignoring the look, he continued to find the foods he favoured. For a while it wasn't too bad. Food, company he enjoyed despite their constant glaring, and a place to just relax. Then the shadows slowly became more defined. The screaming started. Attempting to ignore it, he began humming. As the screaming got louder, so did his humming. The glaring from Ben turned to concerned looks. He attempted to ignore those too. Old habits of a past sober Klaus came into play as he soon found himself in a fetal position, rocking, covering his ears as he hummed loudly. His breathing became short gasps for air as the fog of comfort fell away. Cold began to seep into his body in the form of invisible hands. All of his thoughts slipped away, and emotion took over. Fear took over. It was becoming harder to breath. Images of the mausoleum began to cross his mind. The old lady with the slit throat. The child whose hair seemed to spread in all directions as if she was in water. The man with angry eyes and stab wounds in his chest. 

For a moment something broke through to him. A familiar voice saying his name so softly. Then the screaming took over again. Despite that, the voice was insistent. "Klaus. Klaus look at me." Klaus refused. He didn't know what tricks were being played on him, but he wouldn't fall for them. "Remember the time we pranked Diego by hiding his knives in Luther's underwear drawer? Or the time I tripped over a log into cow poop when we were training at that farm?" At that a hysterical laugh mixed in with a sob escaped him, and he looked up. There was Ben. A small smile lit up Ben's face. "The time we put a metric ton of flour in Allison's hairdryer?"

Klaus gave out a pained laugh. "She freaked so bad," Klaus remembered. "Should have had a camera." 

They speng the rest of the night going over stories, gossiping, wondering where the others were now. For the first time in a long time, Klaus didn't feel so alone. He felt hope.

The very next day Klaus was back to his old drug habits. Four years of habits don't dissapear in a night sadly. His life turned back into a timeless haze where he could barely tell what month it was. HIs thoughts became slightly darker. The drugs weren't working as they once had either. Klaus needed more. Needed to keep that high that made him feel less. Wanted to not feel altogether as he used to when he took barely any. It didn't last as long either. Suddenly he realized just how many favours he did to get what he needed. HIs life now was doing favours, to get back the high he so craved. The activitivities he was partaking in were not things people with dignity did, but drugs threw his dignity out the window a long time ago. Perhaps it hadn't been the drugs. Maybe it was Reginalds harsh treatment. Either way, it didn't matter. He did what he had to.

One particular favour got him a large supply. He had been fighting to rationalize it, and make it last. His brain suddenly had a horrid idea. What if he just... took too much? Then he would have the high he so craved, and never have to fight to stay high again... Right? He lifted the needle to his arm.

"Klaus! What are you doing?" Ben's voice came. How was that possible Klaus wonered. He was no where near sober. Shrugging, Klaus lifted the needle back to his arm. "Klaus don't you do that!" There was a hand on his arm. It was cold. Looking up, he found Ben partially visible.

"How?" Klaus wondered aloud.

Ben gave him a look, "put the needle down you idiot. You know you'll overdose if you take that. I don't want to see you die!"

"But how?" he asked as he put the needle down.

"Guess I figured out how to get past your little blockage. Just needed a really good reason to." Ben explained hesitantly. "Now please put the needle away." Klaus listened, and put it back in the bag. Somehow Ben soothed that constant ache in his chest by just being there. For that, he decided to put it away. From then on, Ben started popping up more often. Even when Klaus was too far gone to notice. Ben was there.

He wasn't alone anymore. There was someone there for him. Someone who cared.

Klaus wasn't alone.


	2. A death of one, and a returning of another

The old radio crackles on as it attempted to receive the signal from the station it was connected to. Most would have gotten a new one, but obviously the person who Klaus was staying with wasn’t that rich. If the house was anything to go by, you could tell that the person who owned the place had larger issues than a radio. Besides, it worked just fine. Ignoring that annoying static of course.

“Want something to eat?” The man who had taken Klaus in for the night asked. “I’m making waffles.” The man stood in just a pair of jeans, and the kind look in his eye that he often receives from Ben. That look that spoke of a will to please others. His deep brown eyes were one of the few things Klaus remembered from last night. His ruffled, chestnut coloured hair quite a sight. Those adorable eyes disappeared after Klaus gave him a nod. This guy was obviously one in a…. Well a lot of people. Many didn’t ask what Klaus wanted, and even more would have kicked Klaus out by now.

Listening to the radio, he heard of the weather, the latest celebrity drama, and some of the more recently released music. The sound of the living was almost always a welcome one.

There was a sudden clang from the kitchen, and a loud swear. Klaus chuckled. Then he began to escape the covers that seemed to refuse to let him go. There stood a smirking Ben beside the cute guy he had met last night. For a moment Klaus felt bad for not remembering his name. This guilt faded as he realized what had happened. Ben must have passed a cold hand through him, and made him jump in shock. The brown eyed dork had apparently left his glasses somewhere which didn’t help the situation. So now the waffles were on the floor, and he was apologizing for dropping their food.

Reassuringly Klaus rubbed the guy’s back and muttered something that calmed the boy. They could always make more food if necessary right? The boy had hastily nodded, and gotten back to work. He also blatantly refused any help, and got back to making them food. So Klaus sat at the table waiting. Listening to the radio.

The catchy tune soon ended. A different voice came on with a couple notes to get their attention. “Breaking news. This just in, The billionaire Reginald Hargreeves has been found dead this morning in his room. It is believed to have been a heart attack. Attorneys are asking for all the Hargreeves children to return home as soon as possible. If you have any information to share with attorneys or the whereabouts of one of the Hargreeves children, please call this number.” Klaus had already stopped listening, so he didn’t hear the number.

“Hey wasn’t that the guy with the six children who had powers?” The brown eyed guy looked curiously at Klaus.

Giving a slight nod, Klaus wondered whether or not he should go. Seeing the family, listening to legal affairs, making jokes most people would find insulting around the people handling their father’s will. It was tempting, but it also wasn’t. He would have to be really out of it to get through it all in one piece. Seeing Luther grieve wouldn’t be fun. The dude only seemed to care about himself, Allison, and dear departed dad himself. Then Allison. The girl who could get anything she wanted with just a few words. She was full of herself, and was just as competitive as five, Diego,and Luther. Was she coming as well? Probably. Apparently Diego had hardened over the years, but he was able to speak up for himself much better now. Diego, and Luther would probably start fighting some point or another. Maybe if Vanya came, she’d be the mediator? Who knows? The only thing he could be certain of, was that the whole thing would be a mess. Also an opportunity to steal stuff he shouldn’t while the others did what they always did. Obnoxiously go around with their superiority complexes attempting to prove themselves to each other. Going would entail dealing with that… So maybe not.

“You should go. At least be there for his funeral. You’ve run out of money, and it’s supposed to rain this weekend. If you can’t find a place to stay, then you’ll be drenched, and shivering again.” Ben reasoned with him, seeming to know that Klaus wouldn’t want to go. Living in your brother’s shadow teaches you a lot about the brother that is in the spotlight more than you are. Due to Klaus being alive, he got a whole lot more attention. They had already been close before Ben died, but even now he still found he learned more about Klaus occasionally. Despite that, he knew well enough how Klaus’ mind worked from the countless times he thought aloud.

Klaus glared at his brother who seemed to have a talent for mind reading. “Fine I’ll go,” he grumbled to Ben.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear that?” The adorable brown eyed guy asked.

Klaus told him that he had been talking to himself. Who would believe he was talking to his dead brother anyway? They’d think him crazy or schizophrenic. Perhaps they’d think to put him in an insane asylum, and they’d medicate him to make the ghosts go away… Now there was an idea. He had a funeral to go to until the opportunity presented itself.

“Don’t even consider the thoughts you’re having. That look coming from you is never a good thing.” Ben piped up. Where would he be without Ben anyway? Probably dead, in a dangerous situation, or potentially a mental institution of some sort.

 

 ~~~~< ><><><><><><><><>

 

Klaus wasn’t high enough to deal with this. He’d also used the last of his money the other night. So now he was left in a house of horrors, and slowly sobering up. Seeing this place was bringing back all sorts of memories he wasn’t prepared to deal with. It was too much, too soon. As quickly as he could, he was out of there with things he could sell. Luther of course was on edge about anything he couldn’t control, or didn’t trust. For example, he couldn’t control, or trust Klaus. He hadn’t been able to for years. This is why he watched to make sure Klaus was on his best behaviour at home. So when his piercing eyes fell on his sides, and told him to leave it, Klaus really wasn’t surprised his usually oblivious brother noticed something like that. He got out of there as quickly as he could. Then got the only remedy he knew of for the memories, the ghosts, and the negative emotions that consumed him.

Next time he was back, it was for the funeral. Also to hear Luther claim their father was murdered. This family was more of a mess than his life. That was saying something. Most of the social gathering happened as predicted. An emotional mess he got to skip out of because of the mind numbing sensation. Skirts were amazing as he reminded himself. He was making the best of his time here by bugging siblings all round, making insulting jokes, and stealing stuff that wasn’t his. In reality, it wasn’t nearly as dramatic as he’d hoped it would be. Although it did keep him out of the rain, and well fed. So Klaus couldn’t complain too much. Despite how they constantly brushed him off, ignored him, and scoffed as if he was an idiot constantly simply because he was on drugs of course. It was nothing new.

After a while, Klaus found himself getting lonely again. None of his siblings really cared about him. If he said it out loud, no one would attempt to convince him otherwise. Well maybe Allison if she saw through the joking tone, but she’d be too wrapped up in Luther to remember little, same age, Klaus after a couple days. Everyone had quickly gone back to ignoring their problems. Klaus seemed to be one of them.

Then, like clockwork, Ben appeared. “Nothing’s changed huh?”

“Not a thing.”

Irony seemed to be large part of their lives, because at that moment there was a large bang coming from outside. Everyone raced out to figure out what it had been. Klaus was the only one to think up a plan. A measly one, but a plan nonetheless. His weapon of choice? A fire extinguisher. After throwing that in the large blue vortex above them, Ben began to argue that this was the reason that he had never been leader.

Out popped Five. One of the two people he had missed in the land of the living. Perhaps things would change now a bit now.

Unfortunately Klaus quickly realized he was wrong. Five was just as emotionally stunted as they were, if not more. The boy seemed to have hardened even more over the time he was away. In Klaus’ memories of him, he had been harsh at times, as well as brutally honest, but he never lied. He also knew when to stop, and when people needed help. Five would offer it in the ways he knew how. Whether it was simply talking over what happened, offering a distraction, or knocking some sense into who ever needed it. His unique perspective offered uniquely simple solutions that no one else seemed to think of. Now it seemed Five had lost his ability to find those that needed help, and his ability to stop on time. The boy spoke in riddles as well. At least some kind of mixture of puzzle pieces that no one had the rest of the puzzle to.

The only thing that changed was the amount of confusion surfacing in everyone. Confusion as to what Five was talking about, why he had needed Klaus’ help, what had happened to their father, who these people that were hunting down Five were, why the unusual amount of crime had surfaced among so many others. There was just so much going on.

Everything had truly been taking a toll on Klaus lately. His perfectly stable life of predictable hookups, drugs, finding food, and shelter, had been thrown away with Five returning. Five also owed him twenty bucks until he paid up. Not to mention an explanation.

Klaus’ favourite thing about Five coming back, was the thought that he potentially messed up Five’s time travel by throwing the fire extinguisher through his portal. It cracked him up to think that Five’s calculations were actually correct, and if it weren’t for Klaus, he wouldn’t be thirteen. He never mentioned it for fear that Five then takes that into account, and attacks him. The whole idea cracked him up. Especially when Five made it clear that he was incredibly unhappy to be thirteen again.

Then one day he heard from Luther a precious gem of a sentence that had slipped Five’s lips when drunk. “Yeah, according to Five, he’s going through puberty again.”

“What were his exact words?” Klaus had asked with a giggle, and a lopsided grin.

Luther frowned seemingly in thought. Apparently he’d forgotten.

“I quote, “You know what’s messed up? I’m going through puberty. Twice.”” Diego had come in, and filled the gap in Luther’s brain. Quickly, Klaus lost it. Imagining that scene was far too perfect. He wished he could have been there.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know how I did. This is my first story on here. Usually I don't write sad stuff like this, but I was in a mood. Hope you enjoyed!   
> Might continue? It would begin going into the series itself except people start noticing Klaus more, and being there for him. His experience when he goes to Vietnam, when five comes back, and maybe more...


End file.
